America vs. Europe: Round I

Hey there. So I don't wanna write a bible like I did last time, so I'll keep this one short. Just wanted to record the great game I invented, that I play in my head. It's called "America vs. Europe." I try to keep track of who's winning, but it's hard. Here are some examples:

America wins:
-sandwiches. this one's easy. since when is butter a sandwich dressing? nice try, europe. you also might wanna cultivate some non-gross lettuce.
-pillows. i wish i could get some foam rubber up in this bitch (by "this bitch" i mean hungary)
-basic organization. the grade books at my school require like, 5 million different entries and signatures. i have no idea how to evaluate my students.....who there are also 5 million of, by the way.
-windows. ....seriously, hungarian windows are weird! they all open like shutters, and on the old buildings, there are 2 sets of windows....they're always blowing open and closed, and there's no screens, so the totally weird, loud hungarian beetles get in the room and then shit just goes crazy.
-sports. i'm sorry, football (soccer)....i'm really sorry. but we have baseball. treated.
-checking accounts. we have them in america. they seem pretty easy...i'm just sayin'.

Europe wins:
-cars. call me crazy, but i think europe might've had the right idea all along by driving conservatively-sized hatchbacks. in a wider variety of colors, no less!
-Fanta. europe knows that oranges are NOT the color of hazard vests! (see photo--->)
-socks. seriously, why DO we wear white socks in america? can i get one good reason?
-booze. stronger, more abundant, and offered at all times of day. i had a shot of whiskey for lunch with two middle-aged women last sunday.
-courtyards. nothing to compare it with in the US, because we don't even HAVE courtyards, because we're too greedy to save space between buildings enclosed behind fences to be used to house adorable outdoor restaurants, flower gardens, and pedestrian space!
-language learning. most of my students have already passed various levels of english and german exams, and won't stop until they're accepted into bilingual schools in western europe. meanwhile, i struggled awkwardly through 2 years of spanish (where we rarely actually conversed in spanish), and then gave up. and no one stopped me, because they all gave up too.

More to come, folks. I'm collecting oodles of valuable cultural research over here!